Parents Separating & Divorce
Although the decision to separate or divorce is your parents' you may feel guilty about the ending of your parents' relationship. You may feel that you were partly to blame in some way, or that you should have done more to help them, or that if you had done something specific it might have made a difference.
The turmoil involved in family break up creates insecurity about practical arrangements, money, and where 'home' is. There can be confusion and uncertainty about what has, and is going to happen. You may experience fear and anxiety on your own behalf, on behalf of brothers and sisters, or for one or both of your parents. And you are likely to have to face some difficult choices involving issues of love, loyalty and responsibility.
If you are angry with them, you might feel selfish and guilty for thinking about yourself at a time like this. But remind yourself that your parents are adults and responsible for their own lives, decisions and mistakes.
There are always exceptions and in some cases the end of a marriage is the best necessary outcome. So you may view your parents separation with relief and acceptance but it still means changes for everyone, and change won't necessarily be easy. The full effect of the changes can take a long time to filter through and be resolved. In the future there is the prospect of new partners for your parents, and new families expecting to welcome you. In the present there will be complications about "family occasions" such as birthdays and Christmas.
If you are reading this and are looking for guidance to help you through this difficult time then please contact me
. All enquiries will be treated as strictly confidential.